Short Jokes That Bring Out Laughter
Now for some funny jokes. Short jokes often come from those who are making no attempt to be funny.
Good Advice From Kids
"Never trust a dog to watch your food."
-- Patrick, age 10
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?'"
Don't answer."
-- Hannah, age 9
"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working."
-- Michael, age 14
"Stay away from prunes."
-- Randy, age 9
"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."
-- Taylia, age 11
"A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac."
-- Andrew, age 9
"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."
-- Amir, age 9
"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."
-- Naomi, age 15
"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."
-- Joel, age 10
"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone."
-- Alyesha, age 13
Making People Happy From AIR FORCE ONE
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."
Anniversary And The Bed
When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it."
In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked.
However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.
In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash.
After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in.
But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?"
Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."
Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the number of years we've been together."
They hugged and made their peace.
A little while later, Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?"
Bill answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash."
